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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Wooly who wrote (18785)	4/14/2001 1:29:17 PM
From: simonds	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62558

I think you have to include that Chinese fighter pilot, what's his name One Way, or Wrong Way :)

To: Wooly who wrote (18785)	4/14/2001 3:12:14 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

also-rans.. WHEELING, West Virginia - Brian Lee Moore, 28, was jailed on charges of attempted murder, attempted robbery and malicious wounding after trying to hold up an adult sex toy shop with a stolen rifle, loaded with the wrong ammunition. Sheriff's deputies say the man stole a rifle from a house in Wheeling, then ripped off a box of shells from a Wal-Mart. Not realizing the shells were the wrong size, he took the gun to an adult sex toy shop where he demanded cash. In the process, investigators say, he pulled the trigger, but the rifle misfired because it had the wrong size shells. The clerk managed to subdue the man and hold him until deputies arrived. -------------- BOGOTA, Colombia - When officers stopped a family of three adults and two children in the Bogota international airport, they discovered $1 million in cash in addition to the usual children's clothes and diapers. Colombia remains the world's largest cocaine producer, and one can only bring $10,000 into the country without declaring it. The woman explained their innocence by saying the money appeared when they saw a vision of the Virgin Mary. The adults in the family have been arrested pending another miraculous visitation. -------------- FORT WORTH, Texas - An alleged bank robber should have his police report "bronzed" after he was caught in a tanning salon. According to Fort Worth Police Department spokesman Duane Paul, the 17-year-old suspect was apprehended in his underwear, ready for a tanning session. The young man reportedly used a toy gun to rob a bank and then ran into the Total Tan salon to elude police. The owner became sus- picious because the suspect was out of breath and called police after ushering him into a tanning bed. -------------- SWAZILAND - Stolen dung from one of the King's sacred cows in Swaziland has left the former speaker of the country's parliament in a heap of trouble. Mgabhi Dlamini stole the dung after a traditional healer told him it would enable him to win the hearts of Swazi royalty. He was forced to resign after soldiers caught him in the royal cattle shed. At a council meeting Dlamini reportedly turned down being co-opted to a commission of inquiry to investigate anomalies, saying he would not be able to work diligently because his colleagues would "ridicule him" over the incident. -------------- BURLINGTON, Ontario - An "experienced" gun handler in Burl- ington, Ontario accidentally shot himself in the head while hunting raccoons. David Ridell, 35, was trying to kill racc- oons in his uncle's barn when he accidentally dropped his rifle. The bullet hit him in his left eye, however, Ridell still managed to walk back to his uncle's home. He was then rushed to the hospital where he remains in critical condition and doctors say he could lose his eye. Ridell is said to be experienced in handling guns and according to Sergeant Barker, it appeared that he just lost his footing. --------------- NEW PLYMOUTH, New Zealand - Folks from New Zealand take their fishing seriously. Take Bev Marshall-Smith, 56, who was fishing with her husband at a beach on the west coast of New Zealand's North Island. When a large fish chased her lure into the shallows she picked up a piece of driftwood and charged in to claim her prize. When the truculent predator refused to expire quietly Marshall-Smith beat it into submission. It turned out to be a nearly 6-foot blue shark. "I didn't realize it was a shark. I just went and grabbed it," she said, "Every time he wrestled I hit him." =====================