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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: GROUND ZERO™ who wrote (18955)	5/1/2001 9:36:31 AM
From: doby	Respond to of 62550

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at centre ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. No," says the neighbour. "The seat is empty." This is incredible", said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs and not use it?" The neighbour says "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967." Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."

To: GROUND ZERO™ who wrote (18955)	5/1/2001 9:40:19 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62550

Been There, Done That... and That... and... My first job was working in a juice factory, but I got canned . . . couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack...I couldn't hack it; they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mostly 'cause it was a so-so job. Next I tried working in a muffler factory but you know, that was exhausting. Wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it... Then I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme. Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking. And I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I really didn't have any patients. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired from there, because I wasn't up to it. Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard. After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as an historian... until I realized there was just no future in it. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. SO, You got any ideas? I'm open for suggestions...maybe you have something that WORKS... because I don't