Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Gary H who wrote (19043)	5/6/2001 10:10:14 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 62592

40 things you won't hear from a Southern Male 40. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen. 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 38. Duct tape won't fix that. 37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan. 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a martini. 35. We don't keep firearms in this house. 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? 33. You can't feed that to the dog. 32. I thought Graceland was tacky. 31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. 30. Wrestling's fake. 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? 28. We're vegetarians. 27. Do you think my gut is too big? 26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. 25. Honey, we don't need another dog. 24. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War? 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. 22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. 21. Spittin' is such a nasty habit. 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. 19. Trim the fat off that steak. 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. 17. The tires on that truck are too big. 16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad. 15. I've got it all on the C: drive. 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better. 13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled? 12. My fiancé¬ Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams. 9. Checkmate. 8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini. 7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? 6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. 5. I don't have a favorite college team. 4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. 3. You All. 2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer Darlin'. 1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin'

To: Gary H who wrote (19043)	5/8/2001 1:52:53 AM
From: xr1	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62592

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and > >tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes > >are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show > >her husband that blondes really are smart. While > >her husband is off at work, she decides that she is > >going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. > > > >The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, > >she gets down to the task at hand. > > > >Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the > >distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living > >room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool > >of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket > >and a fur coat at the same time. > > > >He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. > > > >He asks what she is doing. > > > >She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not > >all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it > >by painting the house. > > > >He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. > > > >She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and > >they said.... FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.