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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tomato who wrote (19884)	7/18/2001 10:40:21 PM
From: CRUZ	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62554

A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry lady demanded, "What took you so long?" The unperturbed doctor replied, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area." Cruz

To: Tomato who wrote (19884)	7/23/2001 1:59:35 AM
From: High Grader	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62554

Love all the airline jokes. Here is a true one. I had a neat experience a couple of weeks ago. I was catching a plane and at the last moment we were told that there were mechanical problems and the flight would be delayed for several hours. Most people just groaned as the announcement came on. I kept my place in the line for the check-in counter to see what alternative would be available. A very large, irate, woman butted in at the counter and began screaming at the clerks. The three clerks were doing their best to calm her down and all it did was get her more worked up. She was truly a case of airport rage at its worst. It was really embarrasing to hear an adult person carry on with such a tantrum in public. Finally as she paused to draw yet another breath, I said in a loud voice, "Maybe you can get her a broom to fly home on and the rest of us can get some service." About 30 people in line cracked up and the woman was at a total loss for words. The three clerks were turning purple trying not to laugh and she turned with a snort and strode off with what dignity she had left. It was too funny for words. Finally I was at the head of the line and although my two bags were grossly overweight the clerks waived the extra charges. I was promptly issued with a meal voucher complete with complimentary beverages and efficiently lined up with the next available flight. You have never seen such smiles. A few days later, a letter arrived with a credit for a free flight with the airline. One thing I hate, is to see someone taking out their frustrations on people who have to be nice to them as a part of their job responsibilities. Such rude people violate polite behavior just because they can get away with it. It is our duty to rescue those who cannot defend themselves or civilization will fail.