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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Carolyn who wrote (19926)	7/23/2001 2:58:50 PM
From: adairm	Respond to of 62554

A man with a little monkey goes into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and tells him he'd like to play the piano in the bar for tips. The guy looks a little scruffy, and he has this monkey, so the bartender's skeptical. He tell the guy to sit down at the piano and play something. The guy sits at the piano and starts to play. He plays a lovely, lovely tune. The bartender goes to the pianist and says "Wow, that's great! What's the name of the tune?" The piano player says, "It's called Toejam." "Whoa, what an awful name!" says the bartender. "But it's a great tune. Play something else." So the piano player starts playing another tune, and this one is even lovelier than the first one. The bartender has tears in his eyes when the piece ends. He says "That was wonderful! What do you call that one?" "I call that one 'Holes in Dirty Socks' said the piano player. "Good grief, another awful name!!! But it's a great tune. Play me one more." So the piano player starts playing again, and this time, by the end of the song, the bartender is weeping because the tune is so lovely. He says to the piano player, "I've never heard anything so wonderful -- what do you call that one?" "I call it Dirty Toilet" said the piano player. "Good grief," said the bartender. "You can write great music, but you sure can't name it well. Ok, you're hired, but be SURE you don't mention the names of any of these tunes when you play here Friday night!! And keep your monkey under control!" Friday night came, and the piano player started playing. Everyone was talking about how wonderful his tunes were. His monkey was going around the bar with a little bucket, gathering tips, and was making a pretty good haul. Then the monkey went up to a drunk with his head on the bar. The monkey jingled his pail in the drunk's face, hoping for a tip. The drunk wakes up, takes one look at the monkey sitting in front of his face, and swings his arm to knock it away. The monkey falls off the bar and drops the bucket. Money goes everywhere. Well, the monkey's pissed now. He climbs back up on the bar and sits down in the guy's beer and stares at him. The drunk looks at the monkey sitting in his beer and hollers to the piano player, "Hey, do you know your monkey's sitting in my beer?" The piano player says, "Know it -- I WROTE it!!"