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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (19941)	7/24/2001 6:08:28 PM
From: Big Al	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Rules of Combat 1. If the enemy is in range, so are you. 2. Incoming fire has the right of way. 3. Don’t look conspicuous: it draws fire. 4. The easy way is always mined. 5. Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo. 6. Professionals are predictable; it’s the amateurs that are dangerous. 7. The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: a. When you’re ready for them. b. When you’re not ready for them. 8. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at. 9. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush. 10. Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you. 11. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. 12. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. 13. If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid. 14. When in doubt, empty the magazine

To: Barney who wrote (19941)	7/25/2001 9:59:50 AM
From: labestul	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm an American Aboriginal Dwelling Construction. One night I dream that I'm a Whig Wham and the next night I dream that I'm a Tee Pee and then a Whig Wham again and it keeps repeating. Help me, Doc. I'm at my wits end. What's wrong with me? "Relax" says the shrink, "your problem is a simple one and is easily cured. The simple fact of the matter is ... you're TWO TENTS (i.e. TOO TENSE)."