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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ian@SI who wrote (19981)	7/31/2001 5:33:15 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Respond to of 62549

Repeat Perhaps:::: The Young Fireman Placing his ladder against the bedroom window of a burning house, a young fireman rushed up the ladder and looked through the window. Inside was a beautiful brunette in a transparent nightgown. He grinned and told her, "You're the second pregnant girl I've rescued this year!" "But I'm not pregnant!" the woman exclaimed. "You're also not rescued yet." ED ZACHARY DISEASE A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date in quite sometime. Afraid she might have something wrong with her she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her personal physician recommended Dr. Wang, a well-known Chinese sex therapist. So she went and saw him. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Wang took one look at her and said, "okay, take off aw your crows." She quickly disrobed and stood naked before him. "Now, " said Wang, "get dow on knees and craw reery, reery, fass away from me to the other side of room." Having done that Dr. Wang said, "okay, now turn around and craw reery, reery fass to me." Once again she obliged. Dr. Wang slowly shook his head, "okay, your probrem vaywe, vaywe bad, you have Ed Zachary Disease.....worse case I ever see....that why you not have dates." Confused, the woman asked, "What is Ed Zachary Disease?" Wang replied, "It when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass." Naked Lawn Mowing Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the following took place. "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "They probably think that I married you for your money." Military Retirement The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished. The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of $720,000. The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000. When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man ... "From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles." The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring. The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop the pants. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he said. "Where are your testicles?" The general replied, "In Vietnam."