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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Carolyn who wrote (20047)	8/4/2001 12:08:54 PM
From: Carolyn	Respond to of 62551

A Truck Driver was driving down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. He stopped to pick up the priest and give him a ride. A ways down the road the Truck Driver saw a lawyer on the side of the road. He turned the truck on a direct course with the lawyer. Then he thought, "Oh no, I have a priest in the truck I can't run down this lawyer" and at the last second the Truck Driver swerved to miss the lawyer. But, the Truck Driver heard a thump outside of the truck, he looked in his rear-view mirror but didn't see anything. He turned to the priest and said, "Sorry Father, I just missed that Lawyer at the side of the road." And the priest said, "Don't worry son, I got him with my door."

To: Carolyn who wrote (20047)	8/15/2001 9:31:26 AM
From: Richnorth	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62551

IRS GENIE A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel dies of thirst. He's crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old brief case. He opens it and out pops a genie.... But this is no ordinary genie. He is wearing an IRS ID badge and dull gray suit. There's a calculator in his pocket. He has a pencil tucked behind one ear. "Well, kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes." "I'm not falling for this." says the man. "I'm not going to trust an IRS agent. "What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and It looks like you're a goner anyway!" The man thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right. "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink." *POOF* The man finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies. OK, kid, what's your second wish." "My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams." *POOF* The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems. "OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!" After thinking for a few minutes, the man says: "I wish that no matter where I go beautiful women will want and need me." *POOF* He is turned into a tampon. The Moral of the story? If the IRS offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached.