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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: average joe who wrote (25151)	8/29/2001 3:35:16 PM
From: The Philosopher	Respond to of 82486

chivalry is not dead, eh?

To: average joe who wrote (25151)	8/29/2001 3:43:14 PM
From: The Philosopher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 82486

We'd better hang on to chivalry. Seems many women no longer want equality. That was SO 70s. The Manolo Moochers By MAUREEN DOWD WASHINGTON Dating these days involves a lot more preparation than spraying, glossing and gargling. A thoroughly modern young lady might be found Paxiling herself, Googling her date, Bikramming her body and pondering The Offering. She might pop a social-anxiety pill to chill; check to see if her suitor's name pops up on the Internet search engine Google; take hot, sweaty yoga in a 100-degree classroom; and plot the offering, as girls call the moment when they make an insincere effort to help pay the check. In the 70's, splitting the check was liberating. Now it's a test. "If you offer and they accept, then it's over," says my 33-year-old girlfriend, a TV producer in New York. Agreed a 23-year-old who works for Nascar: "Last week I reached into my bag, offering to pick up our night out, knowing full well I only had $6. We want to come across as if we've had an upbringing, but we'd fall off our chair if it were accepted." A 35-year-old TV newsmagazine producer from L.A. says: "If he hasn't asked me about myself by the time the entree comes, I don't even bother to thank him when he pays." Going Dutch is an archaic feminist relic. "It's a scuzzy 70's thing, like platform shoes on men," says a pal. Many women expect to be fully subsidized on romantic jaunts, too. When I asked a 28-year-old friend how he and his lawyer-girlfriend were going to divide the costs on a California vacation, he looked askance. "She never offers," he replied. "And I like paying for her." It is, as one guy says, "one of the few remaining ways we can demonstrate our manhood." Women no longer worry about asserting their equality; they care about assessing their sexuality. It doesn't matter if the woman is making as much money as the man, or more. She expects him to pay, both to prove her desirability and as a way of signaling romance — something that's more confusing in a dating culture rife with casual hook-ups and group activities. "There are plenty of ways for me to find out if he's going to see me as an equal without disturbing the dating ritual," explains a 30-year-old who works at a newspaper here. "Disturbing the dating ritual leads to chaos. Everybody knows that."