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To: SirRealist who wrote (1338)	9/1/2001 1:51:26 PM
From: epicure	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 51729

I think we all hope our friends have the wisdom to use their honesty in good ways. I would never want a friend to go out with zipper down, or buttons unbuttoned because I was to shy to tell them something was amiss. I would whisper it in their ear. And if your friends aren't honest about themselves you can't get to know them. But some people don't know themselves well enough to be honest. I don't know where you go with that. I've met people who seem to have no clue about the messages they are giving off. People who are clearly wild with anger who claim to be happy. People who denigrate other people constantly who claim to like people. I have never had any people like that as friends, just because it is too disturbing.

To: SirRealist who wrote (1338)	9/1/2001 1:59:27 PM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 51729

OK- I will modify it to Honesty plus Tact. How's that? I do think honesty is very important, but if I see no compelling reason, can see no constructive outcome, from saying something that might hurt, I just stay silent. THere has to be something at stake for me to risk hurting someone, though I try never to lie if asked directly. HOnesty just to be honest doesn't cut it as a top ranking virtue for me. Your examples- the dress and the oh dear- I can't use that word- that other thing - - are not honesty issues I would worry about much. DEpending on how fragile I thought someone was, and how ugly the dress, or large the offending nasal obstruction, I would probably temper my words. A sliding scale of honesty. Oh dear. I am an honesty relativist.