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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Carolyn who wrote (20412)	9/4/2001 5:01:07 AM
From: sandintoes	Respond to of 62549

President Bush is representing the United States of America on a formal State visit to England. Air Force One stops at a bright red carpet along which the President strides to join Queen Elizabeth in a beautiful, ornate 17th-century coach hitched to 6 matched white horses. The coach proceeds through the streets of London en route to Buckingham Palace, the Queen and the President waving to the cheering throngs. Then suddenly the right rear horse produces a thunderous, cataclysmic fart that reverberates through the air and rattles the doors of the coach. Uncomfortable, the reaction of the two powerful figures is to focus their attentions elsewhere and behave as if nothing extraordinary had happened. But, the Queen is the first to realize that ignoring what had just happened is ridiculous. She explains, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets - I'm sure you understand that there are some things that even a Queen cannot control. " President Bush replies, "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought --- you know, if you hadn't said something, I would have thought it was one of the horses. "

To: Carolyn who wrote (20412)	9/4/2001 7:27:13 AM
From: elmatador	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

The lack of visibility CEO's say about the market today, reminds me of the Portuguese immigrant joke. The final bad news is being fed in very small doses. A Portuguese immigrated to Brazil but could not afford to bring his cat along. He loved his cat and only his brother was trusted enough to take care of the feline. He kept sending him money to care and feed the cat. It went very well, and he got occasionally, letters about the cat's situation and even some pictures of the feline. Until one day he received a letter saying that unfortunately his cat had died. Despite all care, the cat -which was by then a bit old- was on the roof fell off and died with the injuries. The brother in Brazil sent him a letter saying that was not the way to disclose such bad news. He could have disclosed the whole situation but preparing for the final blow. sent a letter saying first that the cat had climbed the roof. Then that cat was walking on the roof. Then that the cat was walking too close to the edge of the roof. Then that the cat had lost balance followed by a letter saying the cat had fell off the roof. Then another saying cat looked in bad shape. And finally that the cat had not resisted the injuries and have died. This way, he told his brother, he would be prepared for the final blow and not be shocked. His brother replied he was sorry for disclosing such news and would be careful in the future. Six months later the Portuguese immigrant got a letter. It said simply: "Dear Brother, our mom climbed the roof." The market is behaving in the same way. Today we have reached the stage where 'the cat is walking in the roof'. But we know eventually it will be made public the cat fell off the roof top.