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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (20672)	9/27/2001 5:26:43 PM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

" When you lose, don't lose the lesson." --- Dalai Lama ---

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (20672)	10/1/2001 1:55:51 PM
From: JakeStraw	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Dear Consumas: It has come ta our attention dat a coupola copies of the WINDOWS98/BRONX EDITION may have accidentally bin shipped outsida Jersey. If ya got one a deese, you may need some help understandin' da commands. Da BRONX edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen. It reads: "WINDAS 98," wit a background picture of "down da shore". When you start da program, instead of da usual "harpy, stringy" music, you hear da teme from da Godfadda. It is also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava Please also note: -Recycle Bin is labeled "Staten Island." -My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computa." -The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk." -Deleted Items are referred to as "Wacked," "Erased," or "Rubbed Out." -Dial up Networking is called "Da Bar." -Control Panel is known as the "Da Bosses." -Performin' an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancin' the family business" and will actually maximize WINDOWS98/BRONX EDITION program instead of shuttin' it down. -Hard Drive is referred to as "Da Turnpike Rush Hour." -Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe dis!" pops up. CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN DA BRONX EDITION: OK..............Sure ting Cancel........Fugetaboutit Reset.........Start Ova Yes.............Yeah No...............Nah Find............Put a contract out on Browse.......Get a looksee Back...........U toin Help............(Help ain't available, youz don't need no stinkin'help) Stop............Knock it off Start............Move it! Settings......Here's d' Rules Also note dat any voice recognition software run on da BRONX EDITION platform don't recognize da letter "R." Some programs and udder accessories dat are exclusive to WINDAS 98: Typa.............A word processin' program Printa...........Printer Calculata........Calculator Seven caad Stud..Solitare We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of da BRONX EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. Youse got a problem wit dat? Sincerely, BILL "Friggin 4 eyes" GATES