SI
SI
discoversearch

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor.  We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community.  If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.
Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Barney who wrote (20711)10/2/2001 4:04:52 PM
From: MrsNose  Respond to of 62558
 
Green garden snakes can be dangerous

Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, not
rattlesnakes. A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and
during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to
protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green
garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed
up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a
very loud scream. The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the
living room naked to see what the problem was.

She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on
his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and
cold-nosed him in the butt. He thought that the snake had bitten him, so he
fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started
carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and
the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the
stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the
hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a
neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a
rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was
gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But in
relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake
wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the
sofa, and the neighbor man seeing her laying there passed out tried to use
CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery
store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband
in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and
cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. An ambulance was
again called and it was determined that the injury required hospitalization.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying
on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been
bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of
whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had
arrived.

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a
drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two
women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. They
called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch, One of the
policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg
of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and
the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the
drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through
the window into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled, jumped up
and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and
smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire.
Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house
was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving
fire-truck had started raising his ladder as they were halfway down the
street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the
electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area.

Time passed -----------------Both men were discharged from the hospital, The
house was re-built, The police acquired a new car, and all was right with
their world -------

About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold
snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should
bring in their plants for the night. She shot him.