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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Mac Con Ulaidh who wrote (32549)10/13/2001 4:39:49 PM
From: cosmicforce  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 82486
 
I think that largely depends upon where you work. Many people who are in the workplace are uncomfortable about sexual orientation and I think this could be a lot of baggage to have to deal with in some environments.

I avoid talking about personal things at work (like personal family matters) and I'm not gay. There is a big difference between offering personal information to friends of your choice (in the workplace) as opposed to carrying a placard.

My best technical mentor, whom I considered a friend, was gay, but he was very reserved about it at work and really didn't ever interact deeply with people (including me) in a social way. He was active in the gay community. It really didn't come up and while I wouldn't say he was hiding his sexuality, I felt it was clear that he was very private and generally not in the habit of bringing it up.

Heterosexual men openly use boisterous sexual innuendo as a group bonding thing. The application is partly dictated by class and social factors. And professionalism. The more professional you are the less likely you are to do this. But it never goes to zero. In this position, someone who chooses to remain private on their sexual orientation has two choices.

One is to pretend they are not gay and participate hypocritically, or two, be silent on the matter. Silence is interpreted in this situation as meaning one of two things, the first thing is that you are religious, easily offended and you are prudish, and a second possibility is that you don't like women. If other aspects of your demeanor don't suggest that you are religious, then people will automatically assume you are gay, whether you say so or not.

Neither of these has the signature of a win-win, to me. But then, I'm not a gay man. I do have personal matters that affect me deeply and there are some people who just don't get to know that about me.