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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ish who wrote (21197)	11/9/2001 4:24:20 PM
From: Ian@SI	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62592

Tidbits of Info 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes... Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired."... The word "samba" means "to rub navels together." The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672. Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo... A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds . --------------------------------------------------------- A door to door salesman knocks on a suburban door and it is opened by a 9 year old boy, puffing on a long black cigar. Salesman: "Is your mother home?" Boy: (After taking a leisurely puff and flicking the ashes on the floor) "What the fuck do you think?" --------------------------------------------------------- Top 10 signs you're grandparents are still sexually active.... 10. Pair of edible Depends found on bedroom floor. 9. Lately, at night, they put their teeth in the same glass. 8. Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of "denture-burn." 7. Granny found cuffed to her walker. 6. Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints. 5. Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa's crotch and claps twice. 4. Your "Grandma" is Anna Nicole Smith. 3. You've just seen her photos in the "Beaver Hunt" section of Hustler. 2. Grandmother starts baking Viagra-chip cookies. And the Number One Sign Your Grandparents are still sexually active..... 1. Kraft-matic adjustable bed set for "doggy style." --------------------------------------------------------- An old man goes into an ice cream parlor walking very shakily with a cane. He sits down at the counter and orders a chocolate sundae from the soda jerk. The soda jerk asks him, "Crushed nuts?" The old man replied, "No, arthritis."