Little Thomas Jokes....
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Thomas. He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot "The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Thomas says, "Now I have a question for you". There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream; the second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone; the third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone" To which Little Thomas replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on,... but I like your thinking." _____________________________________________________________________
Math Class Little Thomas returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!
Little Thomas goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?' Little Thomas waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!' Miss Rogers: 'All right, little Thomas, what is your multi-syllable word?' Little Thomas says, 'Mas-tur-bate.' Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Thomas, that's a mouthful.' Little Thomas says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".
Little Thomas was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, "Now, Thomas, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little Thomas thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"
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Beautiful
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked
for a show
of hands from those who could use the word
"beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My
father bought
my mother a beautiful dress and she looked
beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
beautifully," he
said.
"Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on little Thomas .
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that
she was
pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, ......just fucking
beautiful!' |
