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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Barney who wrote (21533)12/8/2001 11:23:24 AM
From: Barney  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62558
 
Your morning thought for today:

The most important six words: "I admit I made a mistake."

The most important five words: "I am proud of you."



To: Barney who wrote (21533)12/8/2001 2:48:31 PM
From: haqihana  Respond to of 62558
 
Barney,

A heterosexual male, is a guy that likes to eat, drink, and make Mary.



To: Barney who wrote (21533)12/10/2001 7:13:14 PM
From: TimF  Respond to of 62558
 
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his

annual trip...but there were problems everywhere. Four of his

elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys

as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel

the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit.

This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the

reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth

and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows

where to. More Stress! Then when he began to load the sleigh,

one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground

and scattered the toys.

Totally frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee

and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found

the elves had hit the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his

frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds

of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom

and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.

Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the

door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a

great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would you like

to put this tree fat man?"

And that my friend is how the little angel came to be on top of

the Christmas tree.