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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (21739)12/19/2001 2:56:27 PM
From: Guardian  Respond to of 62549
 
Actually From Classified Ads In Newspapers Across the U.S. :
> --------------------------------
> FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
> 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
> --------------------------------
> FREE PUPPIES:
> 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
> 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
> ------------------------------
> FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD
> PART STUPID DOG
> -----------------------------
> GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
> NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
> -----------------------------------
> FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
> LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
> BEEN OUT AWHILE.
> BETTER BE REWARD.
> -----------------------------------
> 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
> ----------------------------
> SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
> ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
> -----------------------------
> TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES
> WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO,
> EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
> ------------------------------
> COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...
> ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
> -----------------------------
> NORDIC TRACK $300
> HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
> -----------------------------------
> BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
> "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
> ----------------------------------
> SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS
> -------------------------------------
> HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
> "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
> ---------------------------------
> HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
> ----------------------------------
> GEORGIA PEACHES
> CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
> ------------------------------------
> NICE PARACHUTE:
> NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
> ------------------------------------
> TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
> WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
> STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 PER HOUR.
> -------------------------------------
> EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
> QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS -$175.
> --------------------------------------
> OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB
> AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
> --------------------------------------
> JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
> MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
> ------------------------------------
> ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES
> FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
> ------------------------------------
> OPEN HOUSE
> BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
> FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
> ------------------------------------
> (AND THE BEST ONE)
> FOR SALE BY OWNER
> Complete set of Encyclopedia
> Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best
offer.
> No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.



To: TigerPaw who wrote (21739)12/19/2001 2:57:23 PM
From: JakeStraw  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 62549
 
Yeah and the Democrat said, "If we raise taxes we can feed the poor, but first we'll need to form a committee, then start an agency & then hire more gov't employees to monitor the new committe & agency". So the press then asked the obvious question, " So after all that, what will the poor actually get?". The reply was, "Higher taxes".


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