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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jim Spitz who wrote (22014)	1/10/2002 6:22:15 PM
From: Pierre Borczuk	Respond to of 62558

FORD = Found on Road Dead FIAT = Fix it again Tony

To: Jim Spitz who wrote (22014)	1/13/2002 9:56:23 AM
From: Stephen O	Respond to of 62558

A Newfoundlander, an Irishman and an Englishman were sitting in a bar. > > There was only one other person in the bar; a man. The three men kept > > looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared > > and > > stared, wondering where they had > > seen him before, when suddenly the Irishman cried out, "I know who that > > man > > is. It's Jesus!" > > The others looked again and, sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting > > alone at a table. > > The Irishman calls out, "Hey! Hey, you! Are you Jesus?" > > The man looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, > > I > > am Jesus," he says. The Irishman calls the bartender over and says to > > him, > > "I'd like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me." So > > the > > bartender pours Jesus a Guinness > > and takes it over to his table. Jesus looks over, raises his glass, > > smiles > > thank you and drinks. > > The Englishman then calls out, "Er, excuse me Sir, but would you be > > Jesus?" > > Jesus smiles and says, "Yes, I am Jesus." > > The Englishman beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint > > of > > Newcastle Brown Ale for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As > > before, > > Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the men. > > Then the Newfoundlander calls out, "Hey, you! D'ya figger you're Jesus, > > or > > what?" > > Jesus nods and says, "Yes, I am Jesus." > > The Newfie is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a bottle > > of > > Black Horse for Jesus, which he accepts with pleasure. Some time > > later, > > after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches the > > three > > men. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking > > him > > for the Guinness. > > When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement. "Oh! the > > arthritis > > is gone," he says. "The arthritis I've had for years is gone. It's a > > miracle!" > > Jesus then shakes the hand of the Englishman, thanking him for the > > Newcastle > > Brown Ale. Upon letting go, the Englishman's eyes widen in shock. "By > > jove," he exclaims, "The migraine I've had for over 40 years is > > completely > > gone. It's a miracle!" > > Jesus then approaches the Newfoundlander who has a terrified look on his > > > > face. "Back off, buddy, I'm on Workers Comp !!" > > > > >