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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (22132)	1/20/2002 12:39:07 PM
From: Ian@SI	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62567

> > THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 55: > > > > 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. > > > > 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. > > > > 3. People call at 9 P.M. and ask, "Did I wake you?" > > > > 4. No one expects you to run into a burning building. > > > > 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. > > > > 6. There's nothing left to learn the hard way. > > > > 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. > > > > 8. You can eat dinner at 4:00 P.M. > > > > 9. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. > > > > 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. > > > > 11. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. > > > > 12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. > > > > 13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks in the room. > > > > 14. You sing along with the elevator music. > > > > 15. Your eyes won't get much worse. > > > > 16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. > > > > 17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service. > > > > 18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. > > > > 19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. > > > > 20. You can't remember who sent you this.

To: TigerPaw who wrote (22132)	1/21/2002 5:40:35 PM
From: GROUND ZERO™	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62567

The people in the small village of Minsk wanted to buy a cow to mate with their bull, so they went to the nearby village of Pinsk to buy a cow... They turned the cow out into the pasture to mate with their bull, but every time the bull mounted the cow, the cow would move away... the cow would move to the left, so the bull would also move to the left.. but then the cow would move to the right, so then bull also would move to the right... the cow would move forward, so the bull would move forward... the cow never allowed the bull to mount... This went on for many days and the people of the village were disappointed and didn't know what to do... one of the villagers suggested they go to the village rabbi and ask for his wisdom and guidance... the people told the rabbi the problem with the cow they just bought... The rabbi paused before responding, then said, "This cow that you talk about, is it from Pinsk?" The people were stunned and amazed at the rabbi's remarkable insight... The villagers replied, "Yes, rabbi, yes, what wisdom and insight you have, we never even told you, so how did you come to know such a thing?" The rabbi said, "Oh, well, my wife is from Pinsk." GZ