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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (22140)	1/21/2002 3:04:13 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62569

Dear Pastor: You often stress attendance at worship as being very important for a Christian, but I think a person has a right to miss now and then. I think every person ought to be excused for the following reasons and the number of times indicated: Christmas (Sunday before or after) New Year (Party lasted too long) Easter (Get away for holidays) July 4 (National holiday) Labor Day (Need to get away) Memorial Day (Visit hometown) School Closing (Kids need break) School Opens (One last fling) Family Reunions (Mine & wife's) Sleep late (Saturday night parties) Deaths in Family Anniversary Sickness (One per family member) Business Trips (A must) Vacation (Three weeks) Bad Weather (Ice, snow, rain, clouds) Ball games Unexpected Company (Can't walk out) Time changes (Spring ahead; fall back) Special on TV (Super Bowl, etc.) Pastor, that leaves only two Sundays per year. So, you can count on us to be in church on the fourth Sunday in February and the third Sunday in August unless providentially hindered. Sincerely, A Faithful Member

To: TigerPaw who wrote (22140)	1/21/2002 3:25:05 AM
From: calgal	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62569

Leno: I have a theory on the pretzel that made Bush pass out. If he was still drinking, it wouldn't have been a problem. He could have just washed it down with a beer. Wall Street has suspended Enron sales. Why? Is there a mad rush to buy them at 68 cents per share? Welcome to the "Tonight" show! All you folks at home, put down the pretzels – it's not worth it! He choked on the pretzel while watching the Baltimore Ravens and Miami Dolphins football game. Hey, at that exact time the Dolphins were choking, too – amazing! Enron executives said today that there is not a shred of evidence that they did anything wrong – of course, that's because they've shredded the evidence. Letterman: Sorry I was late to the show – I was upstairs busy shredding financial documents. The elusive search for that evil mastermind continues. The CEO of Enron is still at large