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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: mr.mark who wrote (22179)	1/22/2002 5:23:30 PM
From: TimF	Respond to of 62567

The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters. In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes. Sometime later the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow. His host, the Soviet Defense Minister, was embarrassed about the scorecard from Lebanon. He told his Syrian guest, "Take anything you want - our best tanks, rifles, or surface-to-air missiles." "No, no - you don't understand!" the Syrian replied. "Last time you gave us surface-to-air missiles. This time we need surface-to-jet missiles!" ___________ Sergei Yevshin, a coal miner on strike in the Ukraine was quoted in this weekend's The European [newspaper] as saying: "We watched with envy on television as American soldiers gave out packets of Marlboro cigarettes to Iraqi prisoners of war. Many of us have to work an entire shift underground to afford one packet of Marlboro. I want to surrender to the Americans." ________ This guy is standing at the bus stop reading the morning paper when this grubby looking fellow strikes up a conversation. Somehow they get to talking about what each would do if the missiles were on their way. The grubby fellow says boldly, "I'd screw anything that moved! How about you?" The other man thought for a moment and replied, "Stand PERFECTLY STILL." swcbc.org