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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tom Johnson who wrote (22432)	2/7/2002 1:34:29 PM
From: Tomato	Respond to of 62558

Little David came home from first grade and told his father that his class had learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asked, "Will God get mad at me for sending someone a valentine?" David's father thought a bit, and then said, "No, I don't think God will get mad. Who do you want to send a valentine to?" David answered, "Osama Bin Laden." "Why Osama Bin Laden?" his father asked in shock. "Well," David said, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama Bin Laden a valentine, then he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe he would start to love people a little bit. And, if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, then he might love everyone a lot. And then, he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." David's father's heart swelled and he looked at his boy with newfound pride as he exclaimed, "David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard!" "I know," David said, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of him!"

To: Tom Johnson who wrote (22432)	2/7/2002 1:51:46 PM
From: Calvin Scott	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Funny is what funny does....what's your point?

To: Tom Johnson who wrote (22432)	2/7/2002 3:19:07 PM
From: JayPC	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

I liked this part International reaction to Bush’s Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. _________ Ob Joke (yes this one is supposed to be funny) 40 Things Never Said By Southerners 40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen. 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 38. Duct tape won't fix that. 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. 35. We don't keep firearms in this house. 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? 33. You can't feed that to the dog. 32. I thought Graceland was tacky. 31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. 30. Wrasslin's fake. 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? 28. We're vegetarians. 27. Do you think my gut is too big? 26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. 25. Honey, we don't need another dog. 24. Who's Richard Petty? 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. 22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. 21. Spittin is such a nasty habit. 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today. 19. Trim the fat off that steak. 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. 17. The tires on that truck are too big. 16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad. 15. I've got it all on the C drive. 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better. 13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled? 12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams. 09. Checkmate. 08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini. 07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? 06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. 05. I don't have a favorite college team. 04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. 03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long. 02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla. 01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.