To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (22517 ) 2/16/2002 1:49:58 AM From: Tomato Respond to of 62549 > ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL > Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start > Own Clubs > > Beijing (SatireWire.com) - Bitter after being snubbed for membership > in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they > had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way > eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush > warned of his State of the Union address. > > Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as > having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as > Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. > "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're > the best." > > Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, > although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of > Evil. > > "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. > > "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi > President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In > World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So > you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool." > > THE AXIS PANDEMIC > > International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, > as within minutes, France surrendered. > > Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in > what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia > said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to > join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while > Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much > Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable. > > With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs > filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called > the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be > Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the > Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty > Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand > established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear > Lipstick. > > "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said > Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. > > While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps > making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, > although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose > Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false > application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the > charges. > > Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but > privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.