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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: ild who wrote (22527)	2/16/2002 8:26:36 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

> The Washington Post published a contest for readers > in which they were asked to supply alternate meanings > for various words. > > The following were some of the winning entries: > > Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. > > Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight > you have gained. > > Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a > flat stomach. > > Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. > > Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent > > Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you > absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. > > Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. > > Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. > > Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you > up after you are run over by a steamroller. > > Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. > > Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. > > Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a > proctologist immediately before he examines you. > > Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with > Yiddish expressions. > > Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. > > Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, > your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. > > Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist. >