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To: maried. who wrote (1544)3/6/2002 4:59:03 PM
From: one_less  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 21057
 
hmmm...

Beating of wives and children.

I know I am asking for trouble by posting this but here we go. The Quran authorizes a man to strike his wife or child as a corrective measure. It establishes guidelines for such a strike and the rules are extensive but the short version is this. The strike must not be around the face as that is considered humiliating to the strikee and the strike is only intended to discipline. The strike cannot be on a body part where physical damage could result as that would be considered an assault not discipline. The strike on a major muscle area then is the only body region left, such as the shoulder or buttocks. The strike must not be so severe as to leave a mark or cause pain to the strikee as that would be considered an assault and not disciplinary. This leaves you with only a light swat that would notify the strikee that you disapprove of behavior. People in other contries call this a beating. We try to educate them when they come to America that this term is only reserved for something much more severe. The practice (if rules are followed) is even less than what we would think of as a spanking to a child or a hey "slap on the arm" to an adult. It can be so misinterpreted in American culture that we encourage people to adopt time out procedures as an alternative. I have spoken to the children coming from another culture to ours and they consider the isolation of time out to be extreme and cruel compared to being spanked. The biggest problem with this is that many individuals who practice this Quranic version of discipline are not educated on the rules and so violate them abusively. In some countries the rules are ignored so abuses become culturally acceptable.

So, I am aware of situations that I would consider abusive by my standards but are probably prevailent in other cultures. Caution should be taken before jumping to quick judgement however. For example: In most other cultures marrying within the tribe and even first cousins is encouraged. The family is extended and wives are very strongly associated as the social center of family and community. This affords them strong protection against abuse (sometimes) since the husband is accountable to aunts, uncles, grand parents etc. and cruelty is not tolerated.

I know that this is not always the norm. Even in our highly structured and letigious society where rights are supposed to be equal, abuse and cruelty is rampant. The world can be a crumby place to hang around it but there arent a lot of options.