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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ian@SI who wrote (22790)	3/8/2002 11:26:28 AM
From: Doug Coughlan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62550

This couple owns a horse farm, and gets a call from a friend, who tells them, "I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse and I'm sending him over." The midget arrives, and the owners ask if he wants a male or female horse. "A female horth", the midget replies. So the owners show him a mare. The midget says, "Wet me thee her feet." So they pick up and inspect all her feet. "Nith looking horth, can you pick me up an' wet me thee her mouf?" So the guy picks up the midget and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nith mouf, hold me up a little higher tho I can thee her eyeths?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's eyes. "Ok, waise me up a wittle higher tho I can wook in her eerths." Now the owner is getting a little pissed! but he picks up the midget one more time and shows him the horses ears. "OK, now, tan I see her twat?" With that, the owner picks up the midget walks around behind and shoves his head up the horse's vagina, then pulls him out. Shaking his head and wiping his face, the midget says, "Perhapth I thould rephrathe that. Tan I thee her wun awownd?

To: Ian@SI who wrote (22790)	3/8/2002 2:47:41 PM
From: The Philosopher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62550

voice mail of the XYZ computer customer service line: You have reached the XYZ computer company customer service line (badly surpressed giggles are heard on the line). If we thought your call was important, we would have answered it already. So that shows you how important we think you aren't. You can keep holding if you want to. We have plenty of Pepsi and Krispy Kreme Donuts, we can outlast you any day. Don't think we appreciate your patience. We don't. In fact, we think you're pretty dumb to keep holding, but if it's dumb you want to be, that's okay with us. It just keeps this line tied up, which suits us fine, because then no other dumbass who refuses to read the manual can call us. Meanwhile, you are welcome to listen to our music on hold. Today's selection is the 1932 recording of Muffy the Yodeling Bloodhound's Greatest Hits.

To: Ian@SI who wrote (22790)	3/10/2002 11:46:34 AM
From: Gary H	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62550

A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Bush appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, "Now, there's the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and decked him. A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Mrs. Bush appeared on the television. "She's a horse's ass too," the man. This time, a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool. "Damn it!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Bush country!" "Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!"