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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ian@SI who wrote (22831)	3/12/2002 8:56:00 AM
From: Ian@SI	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62550

> >Cultural differences of the English speaking peoples: > > > >When abroad: > > > >Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. > >Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad. > >Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad. > >Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad. > > > >Looking out for others: > > > >Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates. > >Brits: Believe you should look out for those people who belong to your club. > >Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves. > >Canadians: Believe that that's the governments job. > > > >National pride: > > > >Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer. > >Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the > >point of blindness. > >Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem. > >Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem. > > > >TV Entertainment: > > > >Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box. > >Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels. > >Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels > >Aussies: Make crappy programs they never watch themselves, but export them all > >to Britain where everybody loves them. > > > >Sports: > > > >Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball. > >Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby. > >Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey and > >how they beat the Americans twice playing baseball. > >Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport > >they play them in. > > > > > >Spelling > > > >Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it 'English'. > >Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it 'English'. > >Canadians: Spell like Brits, pronounce like Americans. > >Aussies: Add G'day and mate and a heavy accent to everything they say in an > >attempt to get laid. > > > >Shopping > > > >Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island. > >Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island. > >Americans: Cross their southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a > >backwards country. > >Canadians: Cross their southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a > >backwards country. > > > >Beer: > > > >Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer. > >Canadian: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer. > >Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss. > >Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it. > > > >Success: > > > >Americans: Seem to think poverty and failure are morally suspect. > >Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect. > >Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things. > >Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.