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To: Richnorth who wrote (83421)	3/18/2002 11:53:43 PM
From: d:oug	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 117095

(off topic) no demons for exorcism (or) just the opposite Most here know the meaning of a Catch-22, which does not apply to this off topic post, and there is more than one way to express the following i will discuss, and maybe its a new type of Catch-22, like a Catch-33 that has a Catch-22 do a Catch-22 onto itself. But whatever, and not to make a complex subject simply, let me state that the reason i left Vietnam without demons as being an accurate and true description of me, it was not that i accured no demons, but just the opposite as i did and in greater number than those who left Vietnam displaying them demons, while i left showing no signs of any. Using the word perception would be incorrect to explain this as that word is used by people, that for example bash me as a gata nut, and have no ability to walk their talk. Another false avenue to measure demons is what means is needed to acquire an end result, for example two near identical persons in age and life styles are both layed-off from their job and one quickly goes to a job fair to undo the not nice situation, and the other jumps off a tall building in a suicide attempt. Easy to say that the scond person had less ability to handle a crisis comparied to the one that took steps to get their life continued. But no, that view tries to display the end using the means and takes one onto a journey to heal that has no finish for a result of health. Sorry, too much babble. Sometimes the beat way to explain a situation and obtain that end where the person delivers the answer is to do just what i stated above is a false, and dangeous, method. So keeping that in mind, the reason i left Vietnam without any demons is to say that i left the same as i entered, no change. Well, imagine that soldier talked about that left with demons and was unable to re-enter the civilian life they left 12 months prior, where they we doing just fine. Enter Vietnam with a few well contained minor issues that you have had no problems dealing with, and upon a return you were not able to pick up where you left off since you returned with demons, most all only knowned to you and not seened or understood by all those others that youreturned too. Yes, quite a nasty circle that will feed upon itself as the more you need the support of others and do not get it, the demons will increase in size and strength, causing yo to need even more help, of which none is obtained, and the circle tightens smaller and stronger until like that outer space black hole you enter and other cannot reconize you as you disappear mentally as the person they saw go to Vietnam. Then you are alone, extra once you realize that you are viewed as not who you were before going to Vietnam, almost as if another person returned in your place, to others, by not to you, as to you its you. Now that perception of falseness i mentioned above, as an answer. I exited Vietnam with many demons, many more than the above example, for example the above person entered with one and left with five, and for me i entered with a zillion and left with a zillion+six. Perception for other guy, increase of 400%, being a huge change, but for me even with two more than that other guy, my change was near zero. Was i able to "handle" demons better than the other guy has answer i mentioned above as an incorrct approach for resolution, as in how does one not obtain that end result of becoming a black hole. One simple demon i returned with that was a positive was that before Vietnam i was always scared to enter a woods at night, and after Vietnam i felt safe inside a dark woods eventhought it took a while to realize that i felt unsafe in the daylight. Also, my bedroom was whatever place in the rice patties or jungles we stopped in the constant walking and searching, and my bed was my rain plastic sheet poncho that i opened and folded once so 1/2 between me and ground, and 1/2 on top of me. Took me over ten years after Vietnam of trying almost every night to simply sleep under a blanket rather than folding it in half and getting inbetween which was a dumb way to sleep when not needed. d:oug