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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Paul Hammon who wrote (23114)	3/28/2002 1:13:37 PM
From: TimF	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that. BULLSHIT BINGO 1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare your "Bullshit Bingo" card by drawing a square -- I find that 5" x 5" is a good size -- and dividing it into columns --five across and five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks. 2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block: synergy strategic fit core competencies best practice bottom line revisit take that offline 24/7 out of the loop benchmark value-added proactive win-win think outside the box fast track result-driven empower (or empowerment) knowledge base at the end of the day touch base mindset client focus(ed) ballpark game plan leverage (add your own, if needed) 3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases. 4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!" Testimonials from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players: * "I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won." ? Jack W., Boston * "My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." -- David D., Florida * "What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." - Bill R., New York City * "The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." -- Ben G., Denver * "The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed "BULLSHIT!" for the third time in two hours." Message 17236725

To: Paul Hammon who wrote (23114)	3/28/2002 1:26:18 PM
From: sandintoes	Respond to of 62558

Subject: Fw: Sister Margaret Sister Margaret had been a model nun all her life, but then she was called to her reward. As she approached the pearly gates, St. Peter said "Hold on, Sister Margaret...not so fast!" "But I have been good all my life and dedicated to the work of the Lord. From the time I was taken in as an infant by the sisters at the convent to my dying breath..I have lived for this moment" Sister Margaret exclaimed in disbelief. "That is just the problem.....you have never learned right from wrong and to get into Heaven you must know the difference between them," replied St. Peter. "Well, what can I do? I will do anything to get into Heaven", Sister Margaret pleaded. St. Peter replied "I am going to send you back down to Earth. When you get there, I want you to smoke a cigarette and call me when you are finished...we will discuss your situation then" ordered St. Peter. Sister Margaret returned to Earth, smoked a Camel, and then called St. Peter coughing and hacking. "St. Peter", she gasped, "I can hardly breathe, my mouth tastes terrible, my breath stinks, I feel dizzy, and I think I am going to throw up." "Good!" replied the old saint. "Now you are finally getting a feel for right and wrong. Now go out tonight and drink some hard liquor and call me immediately." Sister Margaret phoned St. Peter shortly after taking several belts of Jack Daniels. "St. Peter...I feel woozy...that vile liquid burned my throat and nauseated me...it is all I can do to keep it down." "Good...good! Now you are starting to see the difference between right and wrong" said St. Peter with delight. "Tomorrow I want you to seek out a man and know him in the Biblical sense and then call me." A week later, Sister Margaret called St. Peter and left a message: "Hello, Pete.....it's Peggy....it's gonna be a while!"