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To: sandintoes who wrote (23517)5/7/2002 9:50:21 AM
From: Barney  Respond to of 62558
 
Of culinary cleanliness...

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out.

Housework done properly can kill you.

My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines.

A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.



To: sandintoes who wrote (23517)5/7/2002 10:48:27 AM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62558
 
Before you order a drink in public, you should read this! Seven New
York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality
based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on
almost all counts. The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste;
knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested,
she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with
friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually she
has
NO clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... this should be an easy
target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally
drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to
do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.


THEN, there is the MALE addendum ---- The deal with guys is, as always,
very
simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to
help
him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay!