To: The Philosopher who wrote (48462 ) 5/29/2002 8:32:54 AM From: Neocon Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 82486 I don't want to single them out, even if they "started" it. Under the circumstances, you are in a situation where a soft answer, or none at all, would be appropriate. Let me tell you a more personal reason why I have taken the position I have with respect to your actions. My father has done quite a few things to wreak havoc in the lives of his family. He was a womanizer; he was ungenerous, if dutiful, after divorce; he has basically been unloving, or perhaps better, what love he may have for his sons is weak relative to his selfishness and egotism. This has not only had material consequences to myself and my brothers, but emotional consequences. Nevertheless, I am relatively better off than one of my brothers, who continually nurses his bitterness, and one of the reasons is that, although my father deserves blame for his irresponsibility and should have had an inkling of the consequences of his actions, I understand that he did not fully appreciate what he was doing, and did not deliberately and maliciously set out to harm us. Thus, I am much less bitter, and more able to deal with my father. The main thing that has happened is that I have striven to be a much better father than he has been, and that is the most constructive kind of revenge. Now, I recognize a pattern in what has happened here of reckless and irresponsible behavior, but without a deliberate design to do the utmost harm. I do not let you off the hook, but I am not hardened against you. Still, I would like to discern in you an understanding that you made your bed, and a willingness to sleep in it for awhile, which includes foregoing a flaming response to those that attack you. I do not expect you to leave SI, which is why I will not shun you. But I do expect you to make the main effort to come to a peaceful conclusion........