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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Doug Coughlan who wrote (23739)	6/4/2002 1:06:14 AM
From: Susan G	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62547

Funny Signs At a military hospital door to endoscopy: "To expedite your visit, please back in" On a Plumbers truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." On the trucks of a local plumbing company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout." Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?" At a laundry shop: "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?" At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push." At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive." At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet ... miss car payment." Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary we hear you coming." In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be." In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up." In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait" At a propane filling station: "Tank heaven for little grills. And don't forget the sign at a Chicago radiator shop: "Best place in town to take a leak"