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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: goldworldnet who wrote (24029)	7/7/2002 8:42:20 AM
From: Ish	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Subject: Some Definitions Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

To: goldworldnet who wrote (24029)	7/7/2002 5:43:28 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Smart Woman There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife,"Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Because I wanna take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!' She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. Her friend said, " You weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with that man?! " She replied: "I'm a Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I would put that money in that casket with him, and I sure did. I wrote him a check."