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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jim Spitz who wrote (24470)	8/20/2002 10:45:49 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

Punning around with Mark & Mike... "I'll have to dig another ditch around that castle," Mark sighed, remotely. "I'll have to send that telegram again," Mike said, remorsefully. "That's the last time I'll ever pet a lion," Mark said, offhandedly. "I'll never sleep on the railroad tracks again!" Mark said, beside himself. "I'm never anywhere on time," Mike related. "I've been on a diet," Mark expounded. "That's the third electric shock I've gotten this week!" Mike said, revolted. "I've lived through a lot of windstorms," Mike regaled. "I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Mark said, dolefully. "I haven't caught a fish all day!" Mike said, without debate. "That's the third time my teacher changed my grade," Mark remarked. "I keep banging my head on things," Mark said, bashfully. "I remember the midwest being flatter than this," Mike explained. "I won't let a flat tire get me down," Mark said, without despair. "Look at that jailbird climb down that wall," Mike observed with condescension. "That car you sold me has defective steering!" Mike said, straightforwardly.

To: Jim Spitz who wrote (24470)	8/20/2002 10:48:09 AM
From: John Carragher	Respond to of 62552

CHINESE PROVERBS ~~~~~~~~~ Man who run in front of car get tired. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who run behind car get exhausted. ~~~~~~~~~ Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. ~~~~~~~~~ Man with one chopstick go hungry. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. ~~~~~~~~~ Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. ~~~~~~~~~ Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth. ~~~~~~~~~ War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left. ~~~~~~~~~ Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. ~~~~~~~~~ It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who fart in church sit in own pew. ~~~~~~~~~ Crowded elevator smell different to midget. ~~~~~~~~~