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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ian@SI who wrote (24604)	8/28/2002 9:28:36 PM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62554

When my wife, took her beat-up pickup truck to our insurance agent for a pre-insurance inspection, the teenage receptionist was sent to look over the truck. Armed with a checklist and a few simple questions, she breezed through the chore. When she asked, "What are the age and make of the vehicle?" She replied, "It's a '65 Ford." Apologetic about its desperate condition, she added, "It's an old fossil." Inside, the office assistant entered the data into her computer and frowned. "Is there a problem?" she asked. "Mrs. Jones... I've been in insurance a while," she explained, "but I've never heard of a Ford Fossil."

To: Ian@SI who wrote (24604)	8/28/2002 11:18:47 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Respond to of 62554

A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says. The two Englishmen just stared at him. "Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" The two stared. "Parlare Italiano?" No response, "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first Englishman says to the second, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language...." "Why?" says the other, "That bloke knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."

To: Ian@SI who wrote (24604)	8/30/2002 6:35:52 PM
From: Tomato	Respond to of 62554

A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As he passes his parent's bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole. He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, "Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb" [--] Mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her youngest daughter walks in. Child: Mother, where do babies come from? Mom: Well dear...a mommy and daddy fall in love and get married. One night, they go into their room...they kiss and hug and have sex. (The daughter looks puzzled.) That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy's vagina. That's how you get a baby, honey. Child: Oh I see, but the other night when I came into you and daddy's room you had daddy's penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that? Mom: Jewelry, dear.