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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: EddieMacG who wrote (24625)	8/30/2002 12:34:54 PM
From: Guardian	Respond to of 62581

designer meds: S t . M o m ' s W o r t Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to 6 hours. ______________________________ E m p t y N e s t r o g e n Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. ______________________________ P e p t o b i m b o Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. _______________ ______________ D u m e r o l When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music. _______________ ______________ F l i p i t o r Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. ______________________________ A n t i b o y o t i c s When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up. _____________________________ M e n i c i l l i n Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ...can we get naked now?" _______________ ______________ B u y a g r a Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. ______________________________ Extra Strength Buy-One-all When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura. ______________________________ J a c k A s s p i r i n Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. _____________________________ A n t i - t a l k s i d e n t A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. _______________ _______________ S e x c e d r i n More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome. _______________ _______________ R a g a m e t When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.