To: Mr. Whist who wrote (296780 ) 9/14/2002 5:38:06 PM From: Raymond Duray Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 769667 "Satire, kids, is your sacred duty as Americans. Be funny. Poke them cows and make them moo." --Garrison Keillor, American patriot Here's a send-up to Shrubbo WagDog's fireside theatre chat with a CBS cat... whitehouse.org <TEXT> COMPLETE TRANSCRIPT OF PRESIDENT BUSH'S CANDID, NO HOLDS-BARRED INTERVIEW WITH "60 MINUTES II" Interview by the President President Bush sits down for a candid, no holds-barred interview with CBS News "60 Minutes II" correspondent Scott Pelley. In this frank and riveting exchange, Mr. Bush responds with blunt sincerity, answering each of Mr. Pelley's annoying questions with directness uncommon to a politician. Pelley: Thank you Mr. President for allowing CBS this opportunity to promote and package you in a manner vetted and approved by your many handlers, sir. Bush: I am willing to do anything to get across to the American people that this administration is committed to a regime change in Iraq, Snotty-Scotty. Pelley: I noticed that today, during the many televised events to commemorate the tremendous incompetence of the CIA and FBI one year ago, you and Mrs. Bush were in full make-up and on camera most of the day. Why didn't your lovely daughters join you? Wouldn't that have promoted an idea of family values and the poignancy of a family grieving together? Bush: Well, yeah, let me tell you, it's easier to ride an epileptic bronco than get Jenna and Babs to do something when they're coming down off a bender, Scotty-boy. Pelley: Let's turn to the morning of September 11, 2001. You were at Emma E. Booker Elementary School reading to children. After you were told that a second plane had slammed into the World Trade Center towers, as the leader of the American people, what was the first thing that went through your mind? Bush: That that story I was reading about that little goat fellow was sure as shootin' better than any other book I've ever read! I thought I was just going to waste the morning on a stupid photo-op, but, man-o-man, I was really into the story, Scotto. Pelley: Instead of immediately calling a meeting with advisors and the FAA, you read a story about a goat to schoolchildren for 20 minutes. During these 20 minutes, couldn't you have been doing something about the planes headed to Washington? Bush: You're not listening to me, son. This was a really surprising little goat. I was really into the story. Fortunately, I had plenty of time to finish it while I was high-tailing it around the country until I decided - by myself and with patriotic courage - to finally go back to Washington. Pelley: But isn't it true that your father called Air Force One and said, "Don't put me through. Just tell George to get his butt back to Washington"? Bush: Ah, this administration is committed to a regime change in Iraq. Pelley: Didn't you initially promise America that you were going to "git" Osama Bin Laden to avenge September 11? Bush: This administration has always been committed to a regime change in Iraq. Pelley: And hasn't the American military and intelligence community, given a year to do that, failed miserably in this stated goal? Bush: This administration is committed to a regime change in Iraq. Pelley: So, instead of admitting defeat or incompetence, you have simply chosen a target you can actually find without any regard for culpability? Bush: This administration is committed to a regime change in Iraq. <Continues..........>