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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (25204)	10/19/2002 10:51:17 AM
From: Doug Coughlan	Respond to of 62558

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah; Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I'll ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "what if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "then you ask him." 2) A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was? The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." 3) A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, "she asked, is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without any hesitation a little boy (the oldest in his family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." 4) An honest seven-year old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?" gasped her Mother. "It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him." 5) A three year old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. When he returned home he breathlessly told his mother that there two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think its printed on the bottom." 6) The children had all been photographed and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at when you are all grownup and say, "there's Jennifer; she's a lawyer, or that's Michael, he's a doctor." A small voice in the background rang out there's teacher,” she’s dead." 7) A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "now class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would flow into it and my face would turn red. "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't flow into my feet?" A little fellow shouted,"cause yer feet ain't empty."