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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: one_less who wrote (64099)	10/25/2002 9:10:18 PM
From: Poet	Respond to of 82486

Thank you. It just never seems to end.

To: one_less who wrote (64099)	10/25/2002 10:36:56 PM
From: The Philosopher	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 82486

Well, that's the reality of what happened. If Poet had just laughed the messages off, or ignored them, there would have been nothing for anybody to get excited about. But she chose to be offended by them. Granted, there were some messages which it was not impossible to take offense at if one chose to take offense. In fact, there might have been a few which seemed to invite taking offense. But that doesn't mean one had to accept the invitation and actually take offense. If somebody offers you a rotten hot dog, you don't have to take it and eat it. Poet chose to be bothered and offended. She had a wide range of choices as to how to respond, and that's the choice she decided to make. It wasn't a necessary choice. It might well not have been the choice that was in her best interests, but then maybe it was since it brought her a lot of attention and strokes and let her play the victim role to the hilt. But still, taking offense was a free choice she made among a wide range of options. To anybody who's studied psychology to the extent that she claims to have that should have been a no brainer. jla, for example, frequently posts stuff to me that it seems he intends to be insulting, or wounding. or annoying, or hateful, or whatever other negatives he finds it necessary to exude. But I just recognize that he's an asshole with a crabbed spirit who has a desperate need, for some reason, to spew hatred, and I ignore him. I deny him the right to exercise any power over me. Well, for awhile I ignored him. Then I was more amused by him. Now I've moved to the point where I pity him. He must be a very unhappy man to live with so much bile always controlling him. Each person controls their responses to what other people say about them. If you choose to be offended, you will be. If you choose to be amused, you will be. If you choose simply to be bored, you will be. Real life, where you are facing people, it's harder. And moving things into 3D can change the equation, as several here have pointed out. But as to what goes on within SI, it's really very simple. Just decide to control your life, don't let other people control your life for you. I don't care what people may say about you here on SI. If you decide to take offense, you will be offended. If you decide not to let it bother you, it can't. It's really that simple. If a lot more people here on SI simply understood this, things would be a whole lot less hostile around here.