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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ian@SI who wrote (25267)	10/27/2002 4:14:11 PM
From: Tomato	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62558

Anyone happen to know the similar one that ends "Vonce a Texan, alvays a Texan."? I can't remember how it goes. OJ: A man had car trouble in the ghetto and rang the doorbell of a house across from where his car konked out. "Excuse me 'maam. You wouldn't happen to have a monkey wrench I could borrow, would you?" The woman turned and walked to the back of the house, returning with a douche bag which she handed the man. "I don't understand," the man said. "I asked for a monkey wrench." "I don't know about you, honey, but that's what I wrench my monkey with."

To: Ian@SI who wrote (25267)	10/27/2002 4:21:19 PM
From: Sig	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Vell, dat yoke yust about takes der cake Har-har-har Hows this ? Two boys at the beach flipping pebbles, and one says:" Let no Tern go unstoned" Time for my drink of the day, seems like longer day than usual Sig

To: Ian@SI who wrote (25267)	10/28/2002 5:04:43 PM
From: EddieMacG	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

reminds me of the Washington Post contest for a new imaginative definition for the word " OYSTER " The winning entry : "A person addicted to using Yiddish phrases"

To: Ian@SI who wrote (25267)	10/29/2002 1:55:06 AM
From: Karen Lawrence	Respond to of 62558

GHOST SEX There was a seminar on "Psychic Phenomena" going on, when the speaker decided to involve the audience. He first asked, "Everyone who has ever seen a ghost, please stand up." Well, nearly the entire audience stood up. He then asked, "Everyone who has ever had a close encounter with a ghost, please remain standing." About 2 dozen people were still standing. He then asked how many people had been in the same room as a ghost and 6 people remained standing. Finally he asked, "Anyone who has ever had SEX with a ghost, please remain standing." Everyone sat down except this one man. When the speaker demanded if he had REALLY had sex with a ghost, the guy replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said GOAT."