Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (25338)	10/30/2002 11:06:38 PM
From: Mighty_Mezz	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?" Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?" Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!" The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?" Saint Peter says, "Go ahead." Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk. Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!" Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?" George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?" Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."

To: TigerPaw who wrote (25338)	10/31/2002 2:42:47 AM
From: David Lawrence	Respond to of 62549

How did Bill and Hillary Clinton meet ? They were dating the same girl in high school. ----------- President Clinton is arriving back in D.C. after a trip to his home state of Arkansas. He steps out of the plane carrying two pigs, one under each arm. When he reaches the bottom of the stairs the Marine guard sharply salutes him as usual. "I'd like to salute you back son, but as you can see my hands are full." "Yes Sir! Mighty fine pigs Sir!" "These aren't just ordinary pigs Marine, they are pure Arkansas Razorback Pigs!!" "Yes Sir! Mighty fine Razorbacks Sir!" "I got this one for Hillary, and this one for Chelsea." "Yes Sir! Good trade Sir!"

To: TigerPaw who wrote (25338)	10/31/2002 10:23:52 PM
From: SOROS	Respond to of 62549

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a lawyer? A: Chelsea. Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish? A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. Q: What's the difference between a Democrat politician and a leech? A: A leech quits sucking your after you die. Q: What's a conservative? A: A liberal who made it through adolescence Q: Why do the Kennedy's cry during ? A: Mace Senator Kennedy was out stumping for votes, as he began to speak a heckler kept shouting, "I'm a Republican!" Kennedy addressed the heckler, "May I ask why you are a Republican?" The heckler replied, "My grandfather was a Republican, my father was a Republican and I am a Republican! Kennedy retorted, "If your grandfather had been a jackass, and your father had been a jackass, what would you be?" The heckler replied, "A Democrat!"

To: TigerPaw who wrote (25338)	10/31/2002 10:24:48 PM
From: SOROS	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

The Top 16 Changes at the White House Now That the Clintons have a Puppy 16. To avoid confusion, staff reverts back to referring to Madeline Albright by name. 15. New "doggy door" makes it that much easier to sneak out at midnight run to McDonald's. 14. At long last, Bill won't have to flinch every time he hears "Bad boy." 13. President no longer the only one accused of burying his bone in someone else's yard. 12. "Bitch" label now somewhat ambiguous. 11. Accusations of crotch-sniffing at the White House no longer automatically implicate the President. 10. New, unwelcome presents under the Christmas tree. 9. Obviously miffed Socks slips Kenneth Starr a note reading: "Bil kilt Vyns Fosdr!" 8. Shouts of "Come!" from Lincoln bedroom no longer make Hillary suspicious. 7. Chelsea drops to #2 on the White House Pug-Ugly List. 6. Pipe and slipper retrieval removed from Al Gore's daily to-do list. 5. Roger Clinton no longer the only one to piddle in the Rose Garden. 4. Cries of "What a dog!" no longer make Janet Reno burst into tears at State dinners. 3. To the embarrassment of the trainers, dog still unable to tell Al Gore from a tree. 2. "Get that horny fur ball off my leg!" no longer refers exclusively to the President. and the Number 1 Change at the White House Now That the Clintons have a Puppy... 1. Campaign donors staying overnight in the Lincoln Bedroom now find complimentary Tootsie Rolls on their pillows.