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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Arthur Radley who wrote (25581)	11/20/2002 9:27:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

The following was overheard at a recent high society party... "My ancestry goes all the way back to Alexander the Great," said one lady. She then turned to a second woman and asked, "How far does your family go back?" "I don't know, dearie" was the reply. "All of our records were lost in the flood."

To: Arthur Radley who wrote (25581)	11/20/2002 2:04:09 PM
From: Tomato	Respond to of 62558

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Question: Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer. Trust me -- it's worth it.) Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. ** Women stop reading here -- that is the end of the joke. Men keep scrolling. So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident. **Men Keep scrolling By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point: Women never listen.

To: Arthur Radley who wrote (25581)	11/20/2002 3:30:28 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

THINGS TO SAY WHEN YOU ARE STRESSED AT WORK: 1. Okay, Okay! I take it back. Unf*k you!!!!! 2. You say I'm a "bitch" like that's a bad thing?! 3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up! 4. This isn't an office, it's HELL with fluorescent lighting! 5. Why don't you practice random acts of intelligence?! 6. Sarcasm is just one more service I provide! 7. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable! 8. Don't worry. I forgot your name too! 9. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality! 10. You look like sht! Is that the style now? 11. An erection doesn't count as personal growth!!!!! 12. You are depriving some village of an idiot! 13. If a**holes could fly, this place would be an airport!