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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: E. T. who wrote (25604)	11/21/2002 4:06:34 PM
From: backman	Respond to of 62558

HU'S ON FIRST By James Sherman > > Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this recently after Hu Jintao was named chief > of the Communist Party in China > > (We take you now to the Oval Office.) > > George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? > > Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. > > George: Great. Lay it on me. > > Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. > > George: That's what I want to know. > > Condi: That's what I'm telling you. > > George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? > > Condi: Yes. > > George: I mean the fellow's name. > > Condi: Hu. > > George: The guy in China. > > Condi: Hu. > > George: The new leader of China. > > Condi: Hu. > > George: The Chinaman! > > Condi: Hu is leading China. > > George: Now whaddya' asking me for? > > Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China. > > George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? > > Condi: That's the man's name. > > George: That's who's name? > > Condi: Yes. > > George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of > China? > > Condi: Yes, sir. > > George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the > Middle East. > > Condi: That's correct. > > George: Then who is in China? > > Condi: Yes, sir. > > George: Yassir is in China? > > Condi: No, sir. > > George: Then who is? > > Condi: Yes, sir. > > George: Yassir? > > Condi: No, sir. > > George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of > China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. > > Condi: Kofi? > > George: No, thanks. > > Condi: You want Kofi? > > George: No. > > Condi: You don't want Kofi. > > George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. > And then get me the U.N. > > Condi: Yes, sir. > > George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. > > Condi: Kofi? > > George: Milk! Will you please make the call? > > Condi: And call who? > > George: Who is the guy at the U.N? > > Condi: Hu is the guy in China. > > George: Will you stay out of China?! > > Condi: Yes, sir. > > George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the > U.N. > > Condi: Kofi. > > George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. > > (Condi picks up the phone.) > > Condi: Rice, here. > > George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we > should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get > Chinese food in the Middle East? >

To: E. T. who wrote (25604)	11/22/2002 5:00:08 AM
From: E. T.	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62558

MR. GEORGE ZUMA -- Needs your help! EMAIL: george.zuma@caramail.com Dear Sir, I am Mr. George Zuma, I work with Meeg of Johannesburg, South Africa. I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for you. On June 6, 1998, our customer/Civil Engineer with the BM Interiors Corporation Company, Mr. Charles Andason made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at US$25,000,000.00 (Twenty- five Million Dollars) in my bank. Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employers, the BM Interiors Corporation Company that Mr. Charles Andason died from an automobile accident. On further investigation, I found out that he died without making a WILL, and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless. I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mr. Charles Andason did not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank. This sum of US$25,000,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. No one will ever come forward to claim it. According to South Africa Law, at the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the South Africa Government if nobody applies to claim the fund. Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as an individual to stand in as the next of kin to Mr. Charles Andason so that the fruits of this old man's labor will not get into the hands of some corrupt government officials. This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address so that the Attorney will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits which will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall employ the service of two lawyers for drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favor for the transfer. A bank account in any part of the world which you will provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin. The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 70% for me, 30% for you. There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done by the lawyer and my position in the bank guarantees the successful execution of this transaction. If you are interested, please reply immediately via email address below/above. Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the transaction. Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country. Awaiting your urgent reply via the above e-mail: zuma.george@caramail.com. Thanks and regards. George Zuma.