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To: TimF who wrote (3742)	11/30/2002 12:41:19 PM
From: Solon	Respond to of 7689

"We seem to simply have a different opinion about what "defining what is right for the group means"" Obviously, I did not say that "you do not define what is right for the group" in order to discredit your right to an individual OPINION as to what is right, best, or indifferent for the group--as you apparently thought I said. I used the phrase in the only sensible way in which I have ever seen it used--to refer to your individual lack of authority to decide FOR the group. I cannot imagine how you might have considered that I was challenging either or capacity or your "right" to have an opinion; but if that is all you meant by challenging my statement that "you do not define what is right for the group", then we have no disagreement on that score--despite that there remains still a great deal of puzzlement. In Canada, "you do not have a right to define what is right FOR the group" is a common enough expression, and simply expresses that a particular individual does not have the authority to set the agenda or values of the group--but may only contribute one opinion to the process. Sometimes it is used as a "reality check" to chastise one who thinks his opinion carries more weight than it actually does...and whom is reluctant to give group consensus its due. This phrase which I used might be peculiarly Canadian and unfamiliar to citizens of the States. This is likely the reason why you mistook my meaning when I introduced the comment. It is good to know that you do NOT believe you have the authority to set the agenda or the values of the group. You had me worried for awhile...<gg> The statement is a common one in Canada, and I did not even consider the possibility that you might misinterpret it to mean that I was accusing you of not having a right to an opinion! No wonder you were defensive! I would be, too, if I thought someone was taking away my right to hold an opinion on ANYTHING whatsoever. Let me reassure you that I would never even contemplate such an assertion against you...or anybody else. I am sorry that your inference caused some offense. I thought the context would certainly make it clear enough..but it apparently did not. You mistook my meaning due to a cultural unfamiliarity, Tim. I should have been more aware, but I simply did not know that the phrase I used was not common in the States.