To: Yogizuna who wrote (22639 ) 12/3/2002 9:46:30 PM From: Roebear Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 36161 Washington Post > > November 26, 2002 > > Pg. 29 > > My Heart On The Line > > By Frank Schaeffer > > Before my son became a Marine, I never thought much about > >who was defending me. Now when I read of the war on terrorism or the > coming > >conflict in Iraq, it cuts to my heart. When I see a picture of a member > of > >our military who has been killed, I read his or her name very carefully. > >Sometimes I cry. > > In 1999, when the barrel-chested Marine recruiter showed > up > >in dress blues and bedazzled my son John, I did not stand in the way. > John > >was headstrong, and he seemed to understand these stern, clean men with > >straight backs and flawless uniforms. I did not. I live on the > >Volvo-driving, higher education-worshiping North Shore of Boston. I write > > >novels for a living. I have never served in the military. > > It had been hard enough sending my two older children off > to > >Georgetown and New York University. John's enlisting was unexpected, so > >deeply unsettling. I did not relish the prospect of answering the > question > >"So where is John going to college?" from the parents who were itching to > > >tell me all about how their son or daughter was going to Harvard. At the > >private high school John attended, no other students were going into the > >military. > > "But aren't the Marines terribly Southern?" asked one > >perplexed mother while standing next to me at the brunch following > >graduation. "What a waste, he was such a good student," said another > >parent. > >One parent (a professor at a nearby and rather famous university) spoke > up > >at a school meeting and suggested that the school should "carefully > >evaluate > >what went wrong." > > When John graduated from three months of boot camp on > Parris > >Island, 3,000 parents and friends were on the parade deck stands. We > >parents > >and our Marines not only were of many races but also were representative > of > >many economic classes. Many were poor. Some arrived crammed in the backs > of > >pickups, others by bus. John told me that a lot of parents could not > afford > >the trip. > > We in the audience were white and Native American. We were > > >Hispanic, Arab and African American and Asian. We were former Marines > >wearing the scars of battle, or at least baseball caps emblazoned with > >battles' names. We were Southern whites from Nashville and skinheads from > > >New Jersey, black kids from Cleveland wearing ghetto rags and white > ex-cons > >with ham-hock forearms defaced by jailhouse tattoos. We would not have > been > >mistaken for the educated and well-heeled parents gathered on the lawns > of > >John's private school a half-year before. > > After graduation one new Marine told John, "Before I was a > > >Marine, if I had ever seen you on my block I would've probably killed you > > >just because you were standing there." This was a serious statement from > >one > >of John's good friends, an African American ex-gang member from Detroit > >who, > >as John said, "would die for me now, just like I'd die for him." > > My son has connected me to my country in a way that I was > >too selfish and insular to experience before. I feel closer to the > waitress > >at our local diner than to some of my oldest friends. She has two sons in > > >the Corps. They are facing the same dangers as my boy. When the guy who > >fixes my car asks me how John is doing, I know he means it. His younger > >brother is in the Navy. > > Why were I and the other parents at my son's private > school > >so surprised by his choice? During World War II, the sons and daughters > of > >the most powerful and educated families did their bit. If the immorality > of > >the Vietnam War was the only reason those lucky enough to go to college > >dodged the draft, why did we not encourage our children to volunteer for > >military service once that war was done? > > Have we wealthy and educated Americans all become > pacifists? > >Is the world a safe place? Or have we just gotten used to having somebody > > >else defend us? What is the future of our democracy when the sons and > >daughters of the janitors at our elite universities are far more likely > to > >be put in harm's way than are any of the students whose dorms their > parents > >clean? > > I feel shame because it took my son's joining the Marine > >Corps to make me take notice of who is defending me. I feel hope because > >perhaps my son is part of a future "greatest generation." As the storm > >clouds of war gather, at least I know that I can look the men and women > in > >uniform in the eye. My son is one of them. He is the best I have to > offer. > >He is my heart. > > Frank Schaeffer is a writer. His latest book, co-written > >with his son, Marine Cpl. John Schaeffer, is "Keeping Faith: A Father-Son > > >Story About Love and the United States Marine Corps." He will answer > >questions about this article in a Live Online discussion at 1 p.m. today > at > >www.washingtonpost.com.