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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tomato who wrote (25714)	12/3/2002 1:00:36 PM
From: Richnorth	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Who is Hu? Subject: Hu is the new Leader of China George B.: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condoleeza R.: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George B.: Great. Lay it on me. Condoleeza R.: Hu is the new leader of China. George B.: That's what I want to know. Condoleeza R.: That's what I'm telling you. George B.: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? Condoleeza R.: Yes. George B.: I mean the fellow's name. Condoleeza R.: Hu. George B.: The guy in China. Condoleeza R.: Hu. George B.: The new leader of China. Condoleeza R.: Hu. George B.: The Chinaman! Condoleeza R.: Hu is leading China. George B.: Now whaddya' asking me for? Condoleeza R.: I'm telling you Hu is leading China. George B.: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? Condoleeza R.: That's the man's name. George B.: That's who's name? Condoleeza R.: Yes. George B.: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir. George B.: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. Condoleeza R.: That's correct. George B.: Then who is in China? Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir. George B.: Yassir is in China? Condoleeza R.: No, sir. George B.: Then who is? Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir. George B.: Yassir? Condoleeza R.: No, sir. George B.: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. Condoleeza R.: Kofi? George B.: No, thanks. Condoleeza R.: You want Kofi? George B.: No. Condoleeza R.: You don't want Kofi. George B.: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir. George B.: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. Condoleeza R.: Kofi? George B.: Milk! Will you please make the call? Condoleeza R.: And call who? George B.: Who is the guy at the U.N? Condoleeza R.: Hu is the guy in China. George B.: Will you stay out of China?! Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir. George B.: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condoleeza R.: Kofi. George B.: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi picks up the phone.) Condoleeza R.: Rice, here. George B.: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East.

To: Tomato who wrote (25714)	12/4/2002 12:29:37 AM
From: Karen Lawrence	Respond to of 62549

There is this just married Chinese couple that decided to make love on their wedding night in the hotel where they held their wedding. The wife did not want to get pregnant and requested the husband buy a condom. When the husband went out, the wife waited anxiously in the room with all the lights off. The husband had a hard time looking for a shop that sold condoms but he finally found one. Since he had only 20 cents he asked the shop owner to sell him only one of the condoms. The shop owner asked what quality he wanted and explained: "The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black condom, average quality, is 20 cents each. And the purple condom, highest quality, is 25 cents each." As he had only 20 cents, he bought the black condom. While the husband was out, a black thief came into the room. The wife thought that he was her husband. She grabbed the thief and happily started screwing away. The wife was so exhausted that she fell asleep immediately. When the husband reached the hotel, he found his wife sleeping. Without a warning, he jumped onto his wife, mounted her and started screwing her vigorously. The wife was surprised that the husband was so energetic but she thoroughly enjoyed the session. Nine months later, the wife gave birth to a black baby boy. When the baby grew up, he asked the father. "Papa, why am I black and you are not?" The father shouted, "You are damn lucky! 5 cents more and you would have been purple."