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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: farkarooski who wrote (25755)	12/7/2002 10:41:13 PM
From: Doug Coughlan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Are you tired of the mushy "friendship" poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a "friendship" poem that really speaks to true friendship and truth itself .. Friend, When you are sad, I will help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. When you are blue, .. I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you. When you smile, ... I'll know you finally got laid. When you are scared, .. I will rag you about it every chance I get. When you are worried, ... I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining. When you are confused... I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass. When you are sick..... stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath, I pledge 'till the end. Why you may ask? Because you're my friend!

To: farkarooski who wrote (25755)	12/8/2002 12:53:07 AM
From: calgal	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Oh, W, you're a doll! Talking toy Prez is hot seller for Web biz URL:http://www.nydailynews.com/news/wn_report/story/41114p-38817c.html By OWEN MORITZ DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER It may not be Tickle Me Elmo, but the talking President Bush doll has been a mini-hit in this Christmas rush. And it's great for political junkies who want to push Bush's buttons. "Press the button on George's back to hear him say 17 powerful and patriotic phrases," the company's Web site explains. "Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot shake the foundations of America," the Dubya doll says when his button is pushed. "I will not yield. I will not rest. I will not relent in waging this struggle for freedom and security for the American people." Not all the phrases are patriotic and powerful. Some are reminders of the President's tendency to mangle syntax and vocabulary. "I will not hold this nation hostile," the doll declares. John Warnock, a California Republican who created Talking Presidents.com with his father-in-law, says the 12-1/2-inch doll hit the market Monday and was an instant hot seller. The company produced 20,000 dolls and has taken orders for 8,000 this week. They go for $29.99. "They knocked out our server," a weary Warnock said of the rush of orders that followed a plug on the Drudge Report Web site. Warnock said the idea came to him and his father-in-law, Jim Wessling, several months ago. He described the doll as a political action figure and said it is a collectible for adults or children. "I like toys that talk, move or do something," Warnock said. The doll's debut comes as Bush's popularity is soaring during his showdown with Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda. But Warnock said that had nothing to do with marketing the doll. "If this timing was so good, we would have done this two months ago," he said. Warnock admitted he's a big fan of Bush but said he won't let that affect business. His next doll to come out will be of former President Bill Clinton. It's not clear whether one of the phrases for the Clinton doll will be, "I never had sex with that woman." Also on deck are John F. Kennedy and Ronald Reagan