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To: CerealMan who wrote (111484)12/16/2002 12:57:01 AM
From: Jim Bishop  Respond to of 150070
 
Thanks Pops. I would have pasted it over here, but was off boating all weekend and away from computers.



To: CerealMan who wrote (111484)12/17/2002 11:29:21 PM
From: bbgold  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 150070
 
I talked to Jesus today
I was going around some neighborhoods and trying to get some donations for a childrens Christmas fund when I knocked on a door and Jesus answered the door. He said "Hurry up, I am watching Friends". I said that I was sorry to disturb him but I was trying to collect donations to buy some Christmas presents for children who might otherwise go without this year. He handed me a five dollar bill and said that was all he could afford as his rent was coming due and he did not have a job as being the 'savior' did not really pay anything. He wished me luck on my endeavour and was asking why most of the people in the world do not try to take care of each other and rather rely on some 'Divine' intervention to help those that are in need? I told him that I was not sure why that was True. He said that he was not sure either and that it really would be much simpler if Everyone helped each other without trying to have everything answered by prayers. He really does not like it much when a distressful prayer interrupts the Tonight Show as he does not want to miss any of Jay's jokes and Loves to laugh at the chin his Dad gave him. He says that he really Knows all that goes on so he really does not miss anything though. Anyway, I thanked him for his donation and asked him if he would like a receipt for his taxes. He laughed and said "Taxes? I don't pay any taxes. All of my work is for Charity". He thanked me for stopping by as he said most people do not come by anymore to ask for anthing. He closed the door and I guess that he went back to watching Friends. I did notice that the doormat said "Welcome" and there was a plague by the door that said "Mi Casa, Su Casa". As I was walking to the next house I was wondering just how many people out there actually still Welcome people into their homes and their lives and share all that they have with those who do not have? Maybe it is time for us to rely on taking care of each other and sharing all that we have? Maybe? I told my girlfiend that I talked to Jesus today and she said "That's Good! Now go to sleep". Man, I sure hope that I caught him during the commercials as I really would not want to upset him :^)



To: CerealMan who wrote (111484)12/20/2002 3:19:31 PM
From: Jim Bishop  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 150070
 
Before it starts...

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.

When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start.

"This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts.

"That's it! She blows her top! "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and
then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"

The husband sighed. "It's started!