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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (25919)	12/21/2002 7:17:47 AM
From: Doug Coughlan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62550

Mad cow disease! funklix.com

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (25919)	12/21/2002 9:36:54 AM
From: Poet	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62550

Interesting stats. I'll let my friends know of the threat when a gun can heal the damage caused by a physician, just as physicians can heal the damage done by guns. Sometimes. :-)

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (25919)	12/24/2002 4:14:05 AM
From: Raymond Duray	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62550

This is, of course, the season that we always love because of the fruitcake on the table as well as the ones on SI. In remembrance of some of the great cakes of yore, I've spotted a particularly precious recipe to share with you this season......... From an anonymous afficionado: All this talk of dry fruitcake made me pine for the days of yore when I would help grandma make Christmas cake. Here's the recipe (as best as I can remember it, it's a little fuzzy): You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey. NOTE: Whiskey may be replaced with your favorite swill^H^H^H^Hbeverage. Being of Scottish ancestry, me and grandma naturally used Scotch. Directions: Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiskey again and go to bed. ************** snopes.com